Crossed the Finish Line

(note: I started this post on Saturday and finished it up today)

Such a range of emotions....

Sad last night. Asked my girls if they wanted to see me run my first 5k and they both said, "I want to but I really want to do such-and-such..." My heart was broken. All my fears of my kids not loving me confirmed.

Sad this morning that my husband and children wouldn't be there. Disappointed in myself that I wasn't better prepared. Upset that I didn't have any cohorts to cheer me on and snap photos with. I felt alone.

But then... Geoff called. He asked if I wanted them to come. Evidently, Aspen woke up and told her daddy that she wanted to come watch me. I told him that would be really nice.

As I stood among the 500+ people waiting to start the race, I saw my clan walking towards the crowd. I cried. I felt supported. I felt loved. All 5 of them gave me hugs and wished me luck. Aspen gave me a rainbow colored sweatband for my wrist and asked me to wear it on my race... which I did. Who cares if people thought I was wearing it for gay pride!

Once my family was there I seemed more like myself. Throwing all caution to the wind, I mentioned to the lady next to me that I wish that I had remembered my deodorant. Thankfully, she laughed. And we began to talk. This was her first race, too. She was planning on walking it because she had only built up to running a mile so far. But this was a start for her. I felt such admiration for her. Geoff snapped a photo of us talking:

The gun 'blew' and the crowd took off. I was still feeling a bit anxious that I would make it but definitely more confident now that I knew I had a cheering squad waiting for me at the end! AND I had my Shiny Toy Guns to keep me going!

My sister also came (with her family) but was a little late so I caught a glimpse of them a minute or so later. For the record: she is my number one fan. And, I am hers. I love her.

As I was focusing on getting my stride down to what I'm used to (and avoiding speeding up to keep up with the others), I became very aware that everyone was passing me. I never looked back but I was pretty sure everyone except the people that were walking were passing me. The positive self talk had to kick in: "Not EVERYONE is passing you. And even if they are you're still going to do this thing!"

I can proudly say that I only stopped to walk a few times. And it was only on the inclines. My legs just weren't used to the slight inclines that were on the course. The first time that I stopped to walk I was starting to feel disappointed but when I noticed several other people doing the same I realized... it's okay. I only had the right to be mad at myself if I had properly prepared for the race... which I didn't.

The best part of the race was coming around the bend to the finish line. Strangers on the corner cheering for me to keep going! A knot was totally welling up in my throat! I was REALLY going to make it to the finish line without quitting!

As I approached the finish line I spotted my family! They were all cheering for me!

I did it. I really did it. My family all hugged and kissed me and congratulated me. And almost immediately they all started talking about doing the next race with me!

Aspen, my 10 year old, told me she wants to run a race with me. This was priceless to me. My children struggle with ambition. They are content with mediocrity. It's obvious that this has been the case for me for years now, so why wouldn't it be for them? I'm hoping to change that. They will, for the most part, be like their parents.

Geoff, Terra (my sister), Jeff (her husband), me, and possibly a couple of my kiddos will be running a 5K together.... soon. That's all we could talk about.

So, when you check-in they give you a 'chip' to be attached to your shoe lace. This records your running time. Because I haven't actually ran a full 3.2 miles and timed it I was guessing that I would probably do it in 40-45 minutes. Apparently, as you cross the finish line there is a clock that posts your time. I didn't see it by my sister did and she said that it posted 41 or 42 minutes. "Good", I thought. That's what I thought. Not bad and gives me a goal for improvement.

But... when I went online to check my actual time I was shocked to see the numbers 35:33!

35 MINUTES! How is this possible??

All of sudden I remembered! They started the clock with the half marathoners 6 minutes prior to us starting! They told us before we started that we would need to deduct 6 minutes from our finish time.

I was very happily surprised. Very pleased. Very pleased, indeed.