Home teaching...the topic that inspires more guilt and less action for men in the LDS Church. Well, I haven't done my home teaching in a long time. And even when I was trying to do it, it was usually out of guilt, and a feeling that I "should" do it. Well, I got tired of doing things based on guilt, so I quit doing things that I didn't feel like doing..and time passed. I enjoyed the freedom of not being "guilted" by others or by myself into doing things I didn't really want to do. I believe that although the Lord inspires us to do good, I don't believe that guilt itself comes from God. At any rate, over the past several weeks, I found myself wanting to serve others, and to do God's will as I understand it. For these reasons, and with no guilt involved whatsoever, I went to my Elder's Quorum President today and asked to participate in home teaching. I look forward to reaching out to people and serving in a guilt-free way.
Does guilt come from God? Maybe, but it seems like guilt usually just leads to avoidance (classical conditioning: the bad feelings become associated with what we are faced with). That seems like it just discourages people, or might just have them do what may be the right thing but for the wrong reason. That's not good either. Although at times God has definitely used fear and the threat of destruction to motivate people, something tells me that this is not what the Gospel is really all about...so I am just going to go with the good desires I have to help and love others, as well as a desire to follow counsel from living prophets. Wish me luck!
Best wishes to all,
Geoff
7 comments:
I don't see guilt as condemnation from Father. But I see it as a warning. If your feeling guilt over something...maybe Father is sending a signal that your not on track...and you need to get that way mofo! At least...that's the way I deal with it. I find that I have less guilt when the spirit is not abiding strongly with me. Maybe I've pushed it out. When the spirit is abiding heavily....I have more guilt. Which may be the line upon line, precept upon precept concept. You have light and knowledge amberd. So do something with it!
Good job Geoffers. I love ya. And heck - I booted my VT out a long time ago. I understand the program is inspired...but don't show up at my door pretending to care with your kids strapped into their car seats and saying you can't stay but you were thinking of me. I don't roll that way.
Sorry if you are a VT like that and I'm offending anyone. But Puh- lease! Don't do it for numbers. Do it because you LUV! lol! I don't really love right now....so I don't do it. But I have hope that it won't always be this way. And so I fully plan on feeling the love again someday! Here's to hoping I'm assigned to you! whoever "you" is?
I am glad that I wrote the post and that you commented...I went into writing it thinking that guilt definitely doesn't come from God, and now I'm not so sure. But it does seem like Satan can hijack this somehow, because guilt so often can actually create a wedge between us and Heavenly Father; we feel miserable and guilty, and are even LESS likely to do what will make us feel better. Sound familiar? That's the cycle I got tired of, and tried to do something different about rather than repeating the cycle over again...
Thanks, Amber. I'm going to be the BEST home teacher! :-) Maybe not, but when I do it, it will be for the right reasons: because I want to help and serve others.
Best wishes,
Geoff
yeah...satan uses guilt as a tool. But I wonder if Father sends it as a warning to help you....and if you don't have pride (unlike most of us) then you use that warning to improve...but if you let pride creep in, then Satan grabs onto that. And uses it to make you feel horrible. Like - hey, don't do it. "You shouldn't feel bad about this. Why in the world should you let Father tell you you are bad? You try your hardest, don't you?" But really, Father never told you you were bad. He simply told you that you have more light and knowledge than most, and your letting pride get in the way of your progression. So he wants you to evaluate that process. He loves you, and doens't want you to feel bad or hurt. But He wants you to grow. How can we grow without a soft correction from Father? In the form of a warning. hmmmmmm? Dude - don't let Satan screw with your warnings. You can take the warnings as just that. You still get to decided if you want to act on that warning. But remember....it's Satan that breeds that overwhelming cycle of "guilt equals less and less progress."
got me? or did i just confuse the heck out of you?
What makes a remark remarkable?
Anyway, I like what I see here. Life ain't easy and we make it harder on ourselves. Strange, isn't it? That whole guilt thing is pretty unavoidable.
I am not going to wrap this into a spiritual concept but rather just to chime in briefly.
Bueno! Guilt is painful stuff. Does it come from God? I think this is complicated. It seems to be natural, so I guess I could see it as coming from God, just like anger, sadness, happiness, fear. Does it accurately measure God's will for us? A 13 year old girl in the FLDS church feels guilty because she doesn't want to marry a 30 year old stranger. A wife feels guilty because she wants to protect herself from an abusive husband. I thought guilt the emotion was experienced according to when we think we are bad, which could be in line with God's perceptions, but not necessarily. I have felt guilt and learned from it, changed the behavior that brought it on. I have also felt guilt, and felt guilty for feeling guilt, causing a feedback cycle. I don't learn much when this happens. It gets so painful I want to just 'bury my head'. I think this is when I get depressed. I get to the point where I don't or can't learn because it seems the only way to stop the cycle is to repress my memory of the problem. I don't know about direct influence of God or Satan with guilt. I haven't experienced that myself. Sometimes it seems to me that I have already been given the tool to fix the problem, or the rope to hang myself. God lets me develop self-reliance; Satan doesn't have to do much since I do the harm myself.
Dave
Although I am not a postmodernist who insists on deconstructing every idea or word, "guilt" obviously needs some sharpening up. Is guilt useful? What if you feel guilt for not wanting to follow the tenets of your religion (such as Dave's example of the 13 year-old girl not wanting to marry a 30 year-old stranger, but feeling that she should due to her faith; or the guilt a battered woman might feel when she considers leaving her husband - even though her religious beliefs indicate she should submit to her husband), or the tenets of your politics (such as a young person in Nazi Germany not wanting to join Hitler Youth, but feeling that he should to do so for the fatherland's greatness)? Maybe guilt really doesn't come from God, and that it is simply a feeling that our personal beliefs are out of whack with our actions. Other underlying feelings can still be inspired by God (encouraging us to change in a particular way), but maybe guilt is more complex than that and something that we create ourselves. I've just sat with too many people (in my work as a therapist) to believe that the guilt that keeps an abused women with her abusive husband comes from God. Especially when the husband or pastor (or the woman's own beliefs) suggest to her that she should stay imprisoned in the abuse because it is the will of God. This seems to happen a lot in my community, and it is not, in my opinion, the will of God that a woman stay in a situation where she is physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by her husband. Even if everyone involved believes that marriage is forever and that women should submit to their husbandsI just do not agree in these circumstances.
Best wishes to all,
Geoff
What about differentiating between guilt and shame? In my definitions, guilt, when done right, brings on godly sorrow. Shame would be the negative feedback cycle experienced with guilt gone awry. Shame can do no one, no good. Guilt can prod in a positive direction. The key for me is usually acting soon after the feeling comes. If I bury guilt to deal with another day, I usually forget it until it has festered.
Just my 2 cents!
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